All that you undertake must be done perfectly? Do you often set of the objectives elevated, or even inatteignables? These attitudes probably translate a propensity to the perfectionism. It is possible to live healthily with personality’s feature. Advanced to the extreme, he/it can become however unhealthy and can greatly harm to the well-being and even to the setting of some people.
” The signs are different from a person to the other”, explain Langlois, professor to the Department of psychology of the university of Quebec to Three Rivers (UQTR).
These features can appear in different domains, as to work, in the relations with the other or even in the daily tasks. ” The perfectionism becomes unhealthy when a person is incapable to adapt the criterias of performance that she imposes herself/itself according to his/her/its time or some stages of his/her/its life”, specify the researcher.
The perfectionism becomes unhealthy quand1:
one imposes itself a supplementary stress to reach the perfection; one doesn’t feel any pleasure because of our constant dissatisfaction; one becomes too hard towards oneself; one concludes that all is badly as soon as it is not perfected; one is late to want too well to make; one avoids to make the things or one puts back them to later, of fear to fail; one always questions his/her/its performances; one causes some reactions around oneself, because of the perfectionism.
During the last two years, Langlois and his/her/its team submitted a questionnaire to patients frequenting a clinic of anxious unrest and the mood. According to the results of their étude1, the participants who presented symptoms of perfectionism excessively were more to risk to show psychological unrests as the depression, the generalized anxiety or the obsession-compulsion.
” The pathological perfectionist feels a perpetual dissatisfaction and a constant pressure that he imposes himself/itself himself. So in more this person must compose with a high level of stress, that occupies all his/her/its energy. She/it becomes more vulnerable and the consequences can be very ominous”, underline Langlois.
Of the solutions?
How can a perfectionist come excessively out of the circle vicious of the perfection? More his/her/its objectives are raised, less they are atteignables. This situation becomes more and more depreciating and the person will compensate while requiring more herself again. But it is possible to regain his/her/its esteem of oneself.
” The objective is to change small behaviors at a time, affirm Langlois. Very often, the perfectionists forget the goal of that that they undertake. The idea is to manage to take pleasure to what one makes, to soften his/her/its own rules to make they more realistic and to let of side the success. ”
Especially, it is not necessary to hesitate to consult. A psychological help can help to modify his/her/its perceptions and to set of the objective atteignables.
Of the strategies to live better with the perfectionnisme1
To become aware that this habit can cause the suffering first.
To set of very small objectives of change and to increase the part of challenge gradually to raise.
To recognize that a range of possibilities exists between ” missed” and ” perfect” and that the situations don’t always require the same degree of perfection.
To notice that few people see the perfection of our work or are conscious of everything that it required (no one asks us to make some as much). to Make the training of the imperfection while noting that there are not any serious consequences (has a lot of advantages even to the well made things, without being perfected). to Know how to be going to look for the psychological help, if need be.
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